A ring of three
It was the first week of class in University. 1992, the year when Barcelona hosted the Olympic Games, Marlene Dietrich died and i started studying Journalism. That's when my social life made a u-turn.

I met Six at the hall one morning, and we soon realized we had already been introduced to each other a few years back. We had lived in the same place, attended the same school and gone out with the same group of friends, only in a different time. We talked about travelling, men and general gossip until the connection was so obvious it looked like we had know each other for a decade.

That very week we decided to go to a party for the reopening of a cultural magazine where the singer Alaska was both the organizer and the entertainer. Famous people relaxing, free drinks at a beautiful place and a private concert. Coolest plan for the not that soon-to-be journalists.

We were trying to order something from the crowded bar when a hand caught my eye. There was a ring on it: a huge, metal and very original ring wrapping one of the fingers, a finger i had seen before, in class. The owner of both the hand and ring was Morgana, all dressed in black and with a painted spot á la Cindy Crawford on her cheek.

Three girls with one thing in common and enough differences to make an instant bond. Three girls who could be shy but also daring, sweet but naughty, smart but silly.

Ten years from that night, i'm typing away from the newspaper, Six is probably travelling to Paris and Morgana is thinking about her six month old baby Lucía. Ten years from that night, and i still feel there the ring we got trapped in will be with us for life.

Owl looks and lost wings
I ran into my former boss today. I worked with him for a year and a half until he decided to escape from the company during a summer night, sending a fax with the news and accepting a big fat check from the rival newspaper. Two years have gone by since then.

He still has that owl look and the power to make me feel stupid. I never figured out what it was that prevented me from showing him who i really am, or what i'm capable of doing. I always felt smaller when he was around, even though he is not imposing at all. I was glad to see him go.

Things changed a lot around the newspaper with the new boss during the first months, then i gradually slipped into the same state of confusion and proffesional despair that i had known so well at the beginning. Now i wish i could fly away but i don't seem to find my wings.

Perhaps the new boss will disappear on a summer night. If that happened, i'd probably keep on walking when i ran into him on the street.

Calming down...
...on a Friday with the five

1. What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind?
I love knowing i have a whole day to myself, and if i start it with a long slow breakfast, it's ecstasy (in big doses, sorry).

2. What do you do the moment you get home from work/school/errands?
It really depends on the time of day, since i change timetables so much lately. I eat, watch some telly or slip into 'something more confortable'...

3. What are your favorite aromatherapeutic smells?
Rosewood, sandal, lavender, vanilla... mmmm.

4. Do you feel more relaxed with a group of friends or hanging out by yourself?
I'd nothing is as relaxing as being alone and calm, but it's true that sometimes i feel panicky, or anxious, or crazy, and only my friends can get me out of the mess.

5. What is something that you feel is relaxing but most people don't?
Driving with music on. Getting a foot massage (i didn't stand people touching my feet before i meet Tom). Spending hours playing around with the computer. Working, sometimes. Yeah, i worry too.

It's written on the stars
My horoscope for today:

"You will find it remarkably easy to get along with employers, senior colleagues and other important people today. No matter how many times you have clashed in the past they will be on your side today - and you must make the most of it. However, be aware that what you say now you will be expected to deliver on later, so don't promise too much".

Have i ever mentioned that my boss is the same sign as me?

And i will be... Fame



"bully for you, chilly for me, got to get a raincheck on pain"
quiz created by neondisease

Which David Bowie single are you?

Tips from experience
Tom and i have been together for three years now. It hasn't been easy but it hasn't been too difficult. You know how it is with love, right?

Love can be exotic. Love can be funny. Love can go to work with you. It can spark when you're in the middle of a boring meal or humming on a lift.

Love can take you away from your everyday life, as long as you can go back to it without sinking into a shock.

It can even make the rest of the world become a huge blur, but please make sure you know how to get back to your friends when ordinary life returns to your door.

Getting used to it all
The moving lasted a whole day and it's still not finished. The hardest physical part is over now. But i don't know how to organize my clothes. I haven't figured out if there are other phone switches in the rooms. I'm not sure about my mum's VCR.

It's my mother's house. It's full of her stuff and ours just looks like a passer-by, a guest. Last night i felt i was living a borrowed life. Today, at the newspaper, i knew my way around things a lot better, which was funnily reassuring. I hope this feeling will soon pass.

PS: Joy to the world, Hayley is here at last!

Talking to the Friday Five

1. Would you say that you're good at keeping in touch with people?
Yes, i probably would. At least with the people who use the Internet. The others sometimes just disappears. Isn't that sad?

2. Which communication method do you usually prefer/use: e-mail, telephone, snail mail, blog comments, or meeting in person? Why?
Of course, it depends on the person. I like for almost everything, but listening to the person or actually seeing him/her... I'd like to see John Cusack rather than getting snail mail from him. Not that i would snob a nice letter!

3. Do you have an instant messenger program? How many? Why/why not? How often do you use it?
Mess, baby, mess with me. I don't talk to that many people through it, but those 3 or 4 friends i use it with, i use it all the time.

4. Do most of your close friends live nearby or far away?
Most of my friends live in Madrid, except Martin who is far out in Québec and who i'm going to kill if i don't hear from him soon, LovelyV who is Miami (hang on in there, sweets, you'll make the European jump before you can say 'yankee') and Lynch, happy and cool as ever in Denver.

5. Are you an "out of sight, out of mind" person, or do you believe that "distance makes the heart grow fonder"?
Again, it all depends on the relationship. I tend to believe that keeping in touch when you're far away helps communication and also establishes new kind of bonds between the people.

Back to school
I haven't been sleeping much these days. Kurt thinks it's the pre-moving houses stress. Tom says i haven't learned how to relax yet (in 28 years). My Math teacher from primary school would probably point out that i won't ever sleep well until i know my Roman Numerals back to back.

The truth is that there are a lot of things happening (and not happening) right now in my life. Of course, there's the leaving our appartment bit. The fact that i'm shifting myself to the morning schedule at work (7 am to 3 pm) is there too. And then there's the back to school atmosphere i'm living in.

Tom has started a Master on Business Administration that will last one year and will probably separate him from all things social, personal and fun. The pressure is high and he's having a hard time looking into the future.

I truly believe he'll be fine in a couple of months, but it's difficult to see the most calm person in the world looking so stressed out. You can call us the freaked out couple now. Pass the lime-blossom tea, please.

Soooo 1995

Which era in time are you?

These tests scare me sometimes. Honestly.

Praying for (his) time
He's playing in Madrid tonight. And tomorrow. I can't go to any of the shows. I've already told you Antonio Vega makes my world swing. Anyway.

He's a drug addict, heroin in his eyes. You can tell when you look at him on stage, when you listen to his music and when you let the lyrics talk to you. "The story of my life is a story about imperfections, faux pas, summing ups and rectification, but it'll never be about nonsense, bad feelings or self-pity", he said once.

I'd like him to explain that again to me. And lots of other questions my mind has been making over the years. He is about to release a new album and i've decided to ask for an interview. Wish me luck.

I'm only happy when it rains
There comes that sound again. This is one of my favourite parts of the autumn. Rain falling all over the dirty city, showering everything from the center to the huge malls in the outskirts. I love that cleansing feeling, the smell of trees and the way drops draw their nervous lines on the window.

There is nothing like walking under the rain when you're ready for it. Hat, umbrella and those rainboots that kick you back to the age when jumping puddles was almost a national sport.

After the rain at this time of year, all the colours change. Parks turn out brown and red, my wardrobe simply fades to dark green and orange, the shades of my rainy wear. I can't wait.

Jelousy's ways
Sometimes i miss the jelousy. Sometimes i find myself pulling and pushing around Tom just to get the improper answer i want. Jelousy's ways. I consider myself jelous in a 'normal' degree. I don't go hysterical, allthough i give wicked looks. But i can't remember the last time i felt the customary pang in my heart.

Then, on the other extreme of my life, i find someone who has been imprisoned by his girlfriend's jelousy. She forgot how to trust years ago and now she has become her own worst nightmare. She controls his every move: who he sees, who he talks to, where he goes and when. He lets her because he doesn't know better. They both scare me.

I think about him and his jail at times like these, when i miss the jelousy. I also miss him, but that's another story.

Dettaching
There are a lot of boxes in the sitting room. There are hardly any books left on the shelves. The appartment is quiet and so am i. We won't be leaving the house until the end of the month but i already feel strange and somehow dettached from these walls. It's the eighth time i move. I should know what this is about, but it never ceases to amaze me.

The hard work, the junk that comes out of every corner, the stuff you find and take your time to look at again: postcards, photos, small gifts. And then the empty rooms, the echoes. I hate it.

Starting over is good, though. New stages to look forward to and old problems left behind. I only wish i was moving to a place i had chosen, not a borrowed house for a year. I only wish i knew what my life is going to look like in twelve months. Or six. Or two.

Of course this is not just about moving houses. This is about so much more. I'm getting dettached from this appartment and from almost everything i know.

D'oh
"A British Christian group last month hosted a Ned Flanders Day, complete with look-alike contest and a performance by the satirical band Ned Zeppelin. And in United States, a Simpsons study guide that ties certain episodes to lessons of faith was released in August". Oh, wow.

Back to school
Lessons with the Friday Five

1. What was your favorite subject in school? Why?
I was good at Spanish language and literature classes and i thought they were easy most of the times. But the one subject i really loved was Art History. On the first day of class, our teacher asked us what masterpiece we'd like to own. I didn't even blink: Michelangelo's David, i said. She thought i was in it for all the wrong reasons, but we instantly liked each other. I almost took up a career in that area. That would explain my stories at the Thyssen Museum.

2. Who was your favorite teacher? Why?
There was a teacher at University i loved. In the good way. He was shy, young and passionate about his job. He taught us Spanish History. On the last exam i did with him, i decided to write a little personal thank you note at the end of the second page of my paper. When i turned my exam in, he said i was only allowed to write one page and ripped the second one right in front of my eyes. Probably for the better...

3. What is your favorite memory of school?
School was great. Almost everything about it, looking back, sounds like a lot of fun. It was a small and cute building full of hippy's children. One of the best memories is the true sadness i felt when i had to leave it for college. I would send my kids there if i could.

4. What was your favorite recess game?
We played baseball with balls made from aluminium wrap and a lot of basketball (with real basketballs). I enjoyed anything that involved running around and preferably screaming. I still do.

5. What did you hate most about school?
Homework. It haunted me. I think it was more stressful for me to show up with unfinished homework than having a hard exam. The other thing i trully loathed about school was Math. From Roman numerals to the quadratic equations, i was always lost.

Nanonews
I flew to the North of Spain this morning to interview a top nanotechnology researcher for the paper. Glamourous way to get back to work. After over six hours of doing not much in the outskirts of Santiago de Compostela (in the end, my interview only lasted 30 minutes, grrr), i'm back home feeling rather exhausted. Make that extremely knackered. So all i can offer you right now is a bit of this or that.

1. Paper or plastic?
The credit card i use the most has a life of its own. I is accepted in most stores, but sometimes it argues with me about what i'm buying and decides not to work. In these cases, he salesperson usually looks at me apologetically and i know my little red card is having one of her tantrums. So i use paper money. You know, these eurostuff we have now. So the answer is plastic, if the card is up to it.
2. Stripes or plaid?
I'm into stripes. They're classic. I like multicoloured stripes, striped polos, striped socks. I generally like striped patterns rather than plain colours. That's why my clothes are so very difficult to match. That's why my vision of life is always a little chaotic. I see it in stripes.
3. Baseball or football?
The Sims.
4. TV or movies?
Hush. Television is dead. She left us recently. The cinema always bullied her anyway.
5. Craig Kilborn or Conan O'Brien?
Come again?
6. Amazon or BN.com?
I Amazon. I do. There isn't one thing i don't love about that store, except maybe the fact that it's yet another globalizing feature. Not that i care, really.
7. Yahoo or Google?
I'm fond of Yahoo! because it reminds me of 'other' times in the Internet. But no one does it like Google...
8. Star Trek or Star Wars?
No matter what Will Wheaton says, i think i'm on the side of the Force. Slightly. I'm not a huge fan of any but Star Wars has given me endless moments of pure fun.
9. Cats or dogs?
Both. I won't have any pets, anyway, because i'm not allowed to: my boyfriend and my timetable won't let me. :-(
10. Is that for here or to go?
I'll take it with me. I like to eat in front of the dead telly while i'm wearing my striped pjs.

Live
Morcheeba is playing in Madrid next month (La Riviera, Oct. 20). Last time the band was here they played at the same place. I went with Tom and i met some of my friends inside. I stayed for most of the show. Don't get me wrong, i love Morcheeba. I love concerts. I get excited and i dance, i smoke, i sing. And then i pass out.

According to Morgana, i do this a lot. I think she may have a point there. In the last 10 15 years i have passed out at Morcheeba, Kiko Veneno, David Bowie and a local band called Pink Pills. It's ok, because i recover rather quickly (just give me something cold and sugary) but it's a pain in the ass for the person who gets to look after me and misses the show.

The explanation of my stumblings is a combination of facts. Children, do not try this formula at concerts:

Excitement + Very little food + Crowded place + Smoking substances + Alcohol + Dancing a lot

Apart from the Bowie gig, etc., there are many other concerts i've enjoyed over the years, and without even closing my eyes. I'll pull a High Fidelity here, that is, a Top Five:

1. Big audio Dynamite - UB40 - The Pretenders - U2
Santiago Bernabéu Stadium, 1987. My first big concert ever.
2. David Bowie
Vicente Calderón Stadium. 1987. I've seen The Duke twice. This was the first, and i didn't pass out. Good for me.
3. Bruce Springsteen
Vicente Calderón Stadium. 1992. He played for four hours. It was a thrill to be there.
4. Pink Pills/Ros Piluls
Sala El Laboratorio, 1995. This is a band a great friend of mine put together in the nineties. And this was a show to remember, which included a great 'fin-de-fiesta' with the collaboration of some Mano Negra members. A huge, contagious party.
5. La Cabra Mecánica
Sala Divino Aqualung, 2001. The only reason why Garbage isn't on this list is because La Cabra was such a surprising discovery that they deserve the honour to push Shirley Manson and her boys a tiny little bit.

Looking at them
I watched 'Things You Can Tell By Just Looking At Her' last night. According to the official website, the film is "a poignant comedy" with Holly Hunter, Glenn Close, Cameron Díaz and Calista Flockhart, among others. It is actually a slow, sad and delightful collection of interwoven stories that i enjoyed most of the time.

I was impressed by Cameron Díaz, again. I think she is an extraordinary actress who has reached Hollywood status with a click of her fingers and never letting her good humour go. Or maybe it's just that she looks more on the dopey side of things. Whatever it is, it's working miracles for her. She is outstanding in this movie.

So is Holly Hunter. There is something about the serenity in her face that i've always loved watching. Her part as Rebecca in this film is inmense.

I read somewhere yesterday that Michelle Pfeiffer has been complaining about female roles in Hollywood. Of course, this is not the first time or the first person to talk about this (Julia Roberts, Sharon Stone and Susan Sarandon spring to mind) but her comments got me thinking about stereotypes in the cinema and life.

Still, i believe things are changing. This is why i'm especially grateful for 'Things You Can Tell By Just Looking At Her'.

The pictures are in!
London called on a Friday morning.
This is the story of my experience in those five days.
And the answer to yesterday's game, of course.

Game
Guess is the name of this game. One of the girls isn't me. The picture was taken at 17.19 pm in a dark and damp place. And of course, there is a story behind those eyes. I'll keep you posted.

Autumn blues
I am so not ready for this. I am not looking forward to moving house. Not ready to go back to my tedious, poisoned, no-way-out job. I got the back to school blues. The 'don't let the summer leave without me noticing it was ever there' blues. If i try to explain how i'm feeling, i'll sound like a country song.

I'm living inside a box of doubts. Will i hate living so far from the city or will i get so into it i will change my lifestyle dramatically? Just how bad will the atmosphere at work will be in a few months?

It's going to be a whole year in hiatus. Suspended from decision-making, from looking into the future and trying out new ideas. I am so not ready for this. And i am truly sorry for that.

Precious baby
She keeps her head up when she's lying on her parent's bed. She looks at you with true fascination, from behind those blue eyes that seem too amazed to let go. She smiles a lot now. Five months of life and she's already smiling seductively into the world. I love that precious baby Lucía. And just wait til she reaches 18.

PS: I kidnapped this cute animated babe from Sherry's site, to whom i wish a lot of patience on her final lap!

Celebrity choice
Introducing... Tuesday's This or That
1. Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise?
Hanks gets on my nerves. Cruise can get anywhere around my nerves, any time.
2. Julia Roberts or Julia Stiles?
America's sweetheart. She makes me laugh, she makes me jelous, she is a natural. Cool chick.
3. Kevin Costner or Kevin Spacey?
Spacey. As smooth as his last name. One of the best actors around. And Costner just makes me want to throw up all the time.
4. Ben Affleck or Ben Stiller?
Ben Stiller gives me the creeps. I do not think he is funny. You can spam me, i still think he is pathetic. And the Affleck chap is quite hot, so my vote for him.
5. Sean Connery or Sean Penn?
Connery is elegant but leans too much on the fascist side, if you ask me. Sean Penn is dead sexy. And i saw him in a bar in Madrid, alone, at 4 am. Too cool for school kind of person. Me likes.
6. Jennifer Lopez or Jennifer Aniston?
JLo just bought the rights of a kick-ass Spanish song, so she beats Rachel for the time being.
7. Courtney Love or Courtney Cox-Arquette?
I'll pull a Monica. Courtney Love is a very sad pop culture invention.
8. Sarah Michelle Gelllar or Sarah Jessica Parker?
Carrie says things like "a squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit!". She is a winner.
9. Michael Douglas or Mike Myers?
None of the above. Well, all right, i'll have Douglas, but without the surgery, please!!!
10. Nicole Kidman or (Anna) Nicole Smith?
That is a very silly question ;-)

Random
Today's random facts are:

Thinking: I won't get my project after all. I'm trying to think in a positive way but all i come up with is 'time to move on, girl'.

Reading: Ray Loriga's 'Tokyo doesn't love us anymore'. Intriguing, decadent, funny and disturbingly beautiful.

Feeling: Tired, afraid of the changes to come, thoughtful.

Eating: Nothing yet.

Drinking: Coffee, orange juice and water. Yes, i have a dry mouth. Don't ask.

Listening: The radio that took me to London.

Needing: To get the pics out of the camera so i can get started on the London journal before i forget all that happened.

Watching: Our tv died yesterday of a long disease. She vanished without a sound during a very peaceful sleep. The family wishes to thank all the support received. No services will be held for now.

Wishing: I was 17 again.

We're one
Regent Street was full of Zara, Starbucks, Mango and H&M. You could still tell who the Spaniards were from the way girls carried huge bags with pashminas around the handles, but it was strange to see that we are all slowly blending into the same thing. We all look alike. We watch virtually the same tv shows, listen to the same songs at the same time and we have the same hard time picking one of the hundreds of flavours at a Hagën Dazs.

The Face magazine calls it the 'Zombie Nation' tendency: "Overstimulated by pop culture, we're in danger of becomimg passive zombies. From Top Shop to PlayStation, Big Brother to Friends... the mainstream is so good at delivering what people want that it has turned us into a nation of clones in distressed denim, sedated with identical diets of esy-to-swallow pop culture".

We revise previous decades to update them and try to find something rebellious in older fashion, music, aesthetics. My mother used to roll her eyes whenever i walked around with my flare trousers. The Face, again, thinks this about the Revival Spiral: "At this rate, we'll reach a point pretty soon where everything in history will be cool, all the time. How weird is that?".

Off topic: I have no idea what kind of water Cameron Diaz likes. Sorry.

Friday
You didn't think i was going to skip a Friday Five about clothes, did you? It's right here...

Beautiful
We landed last night.

'Welcome back to stress', Madrid kindly said to us upon arrival.

London was f-a-b-u-l-o-u-s.

I'm getting a travel journal ready to tell you every little detail about:

Beautiful Garbage

beautiful streets

beautiful walks

beautiful moments

really beautiful items in Covent Garden

and

drop dead gorgeous clothes about everywhere.

Stay tuned.