Coloured thoughts


You are experiencing more than your fair share of stress following an acute disappointment. This may be the result of subconscious conflict between hope and necessity. The tension that you are experiencing following your unfulfilled hopes have given rise to anxious uncertainty. You have no doubt that things could get better in the future and so you refuse to make the necessary essential decisions.

The paragraph above is from my Colorgenics profile. And they got all that because i picked brown after red but before green. Or something like that.

Discoveries
Last Easter, we went up North for a few days with the Mountain Family, including the M&m's. One day we took a day trip to San Sebastian, while Tom's mother was on her way to our appartment in Madrid. She called to say someone had stolen her bag with all her money and the keys to get into our house.

While we were discussing what to do, little M (four years old) listened hard. Then she opened her eyes really big and, with a horrified expression on her face, she asked: Does that mean thiefs actually exist?

Back on track
I've had some problems with my blog, as you may have noticed. My server has a life of its own and it decided to change some things without telling anyone. That's what you get when you don't pay for what you want. So i'm moving out. I'm going to buy myself a domain and then i'll rent some webspace so i can ramble on as needed. Any suggestions or special offers?

The Sims are back, too. Tom gave me Hot Date for my birthday last December but the obscene amount of graphics and sounds, plus the fact that i installed the game in several languages (!) wouldn't let me play in this computer. That's fixed too. Last night i spent hours building a house, a Versace-like mansion (*chuckle*). It took me so long i was too tired to continue playing after that.

Keeping busy with the Friday Five

Boy am i glad to be back on line...

1. What are your hobbies? I draw every once in a while. And i play my Sims crazy.

2. Do you collect anything? If so, what? I tend to keep those free postcards you find in bars.

3. Is there a hobby you're interested in, but just don't have the time/money to do? I'd love my job to be a hobby so i could do it whenever i wanted to, and i could spend time and money in more important stuff.

4. Have you ever turned a hobby into a moneymaking opportunity? Writing, i suppose.

5. Besides web-related stuff (burbs, rings, etc.), what clubs do you belong to? As Groucho Marx said, i don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members...

Out of order
The problem with my ftp is driving me nuts. Grr.

Disappointed?
I just want to tell whoever found this weblog by looking for 'sex stories fantasy gynecologist' up in Google that i'm sorry i dissapointed you. Perhaps you should refine your search?
And i thought i had seen it all with the one trying to find a 'model morgana dancer'...

Parcels
My aunt and my mother used to exchange huge parcels at Christmas time when my sister and i were kids. We got very excited knowing that inside the packet there were presents coming all the way from Ireland. But the parcel would sit under the tree until Xmas morning. I used to stare at it, daydreaming about what would be hiding inside of it, looking at all the stamps on it. It never failed to amaze me how all those presents had travelled over the sea and landed in our sitting room.

A parcel arrived at our front door this morning and it was as exciting as in the 'old days' *chuckle*. It contains documentation for a project Tom and Trix are at. This time, the stuff came all the way from Mexico. I've never been there, so the imagination i used so much as a kid came rushing back and i've been travelling in my mind to the University of Sonora, the cantines and the smokey streets of DF.

The woman who's helping them with the paper work in Sonora seems very kind. She's been emailing Tom for such a long time they've developped a peculiar relationship by now. She even added two buns in the parcel. A perfect stranger who was asked to send a bunch of paper work, cds and photocopies has become 'the nice woman from a country where we've never been'. That woman threw a little bit of magic into our sitting room this morning.

Mais non!
How long does it take to vote? Five minutes? Maybe twenty? Do you think your country deserves seven years of this just because most of you couldn't be bothered making a point? This is what happens when you don't give a damn.

Short sleeves and sunshine
I love this city. Have i told you before? I love leaving Madrid because then i get to come back and the feeling is always the same as finishing a complicated jigsaw in my soul. I like the narrow streets of my neighbourhood, i love most of the people that walk them up and down, i like the shops and the bars trying hard to put you in a good mood. I also love the spring in the city. There is something about short sleeves and sunshine that makes us all go bananas.



Madrid gets ready for tourists, bearable pre-summer heat and oh-those-great-terraces. We have around 20 Celsius degrees this morning. The windows in our appartment are wide open and i'm wondering if this state of the clouds will continue throughout the week. I hope so. I hope the sun hangs on in there until Saturday, at least.

Six called me last night. Her birthday is on Saturday and she is thinking of celebrating it with an 'aperitivo', i.e., drinks and tapas just after noon. That way it'll be an original kind of party, we'll enjoy this amazing weather and even Morgana will be able to go (she gave birth 20 days ago; more on that in another post). When Six told me her idea last night i encouraged her to do it. It sounds brilliant, and it's a change from the usual party-til-8-a.m. kind of celebration. Or is it that we're not getting any younger?

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. (John Lennon)


One of those
Today is one of those days when your stomach is fighting to become an independent State inside your body, your mind is busy organising the bad ideas, the good thoughts and the plain bubbles into different compartments and the rest of you just doesn't know what it wants.

I'm tired from spending a dreadful night of pain and other disasters and being worried about the future, money and life in general. This is one of those days when you're thankful because it's sunny but you can't find the urge to go out and enjoy it. It's one of those days when you start thinking non constructively and you wonder whatever happened to the other (brighter) yous.

I've been thinking about the friends i don't see anymore, for instance. No one should do that on days like these but it's precisely days like these that make your mind have its whims. Along the years, i've been losing people on my boat, for various reasons and with many consequences -nostalgia being a big winner.

Some disappeared, some were left standing in the middle of a far memory. Some live in another country, others in a whole different world. Some fell in love and didn't want to leave their paradise à deux, some had to keep going and never look back, most of them didn't even realize the change. The same can be said for me, obviously.

Then, a day like this lands in the middle of your spine and you feel amazed, a little sad and probably confused.

Zapping
After this break, our Friday Five. Stay tuned.

1. What's your favorite TV show and why? I love Friends. That's one of the few shows that can actually make me laugh out loud, even if i'm alone. I also enjoy Jay Leno's late night and Malcolm In The Middle.
2. Who is your favorite television star? There's a Spanish presenter that i find very good. His name is Manel Fuentes and he's on a late night show on Sundays.
3. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Sesame Street and, later on, Fame. I think it was after that when Falcon Crest arrived. I can't believe i've found a fansite for this last soap...
4. What show do you think should have been cancelled by now? Most of the shows programmed...
5. What new show do you hope escapes the axe this season? I have no idea, sorry.

Small
There was a time when i stopped writing diaries and i put my short stories aside. I tried composing. You know, songs. Or i should probably say poems, considering my lack of musical sense.

I had a friend who had a band and he liked what i wrote, so he suggested we could work together with the lyrics. The project didn't get too far for various reasons but i continued the poetry thing.

I found out i loved short (sometimes really short) poems. Here are a couple of them.

Again and again...



Find out which Moulin Rouge song you are.

All over the place
Tom has made a map so i can track down the countries where my visitors are from. Fifteen nationalities so far... is yours there? Check it out and if i've missed you!

Intentions
Here's a piece of advice: Don't ever make a decision for me. Please. Don't try to hide something from me because you think that it will

hurt me

enrage me

or even

destroy me

Your intentions are probably very good but i'm a big girl now and i don't need anyone making choices for me. If it affects me, i would like to know.

Yesterday i found out something that i should've known probably months ago. And now i'm angry and a little hurt. Or maybe hurt and a little angry, i can't really say. But now that i know, i'll figure out what to do with the valuable piece of information. So i wanted to make this point clear. I don't need protection from the truth.

So who shot J.R.?
I got a lousy score on this one and i bet there are plenty of you out there who can beat me. Now, rewind yourselves to those moments on sitcom and soap television where there was a thrilling? season finale...

Witness
Bus drivers travelling the outskirts of Madrid (and beyond) have been on strike for the past twelve days. Last night, the strike was called off. Short version: The Government of Madrid had to take part in the conflict because companies and unions weren't getting too far. So a mediator was named and he jumped into the problem.

He would dictate some sort of law that both parts had to comply with. He called the media yesterday at five o'clock and i went there. He read it, the parts didn't seem too happy but that was it. Afterwards, the unions had to take the mediator's judgement to a general meeting with the workers, who would vote if they wanted to end the long strike.

But something happened in between. Before the unionists got to the assembly, they demanded another compromise from the companies, so the negotiator had to meet with them. The media had left, except national radio and us (the paper). I couldn't believe i was there. The mediator took an hour and then came back into the room.

The nice, educated man i had seen at the press conference was now more like a desperate soul: arguing, cursing and rubbing his head. He was under a lot of pressure and (he thought) out of the media's reach. He looked at us and then closed the door. I could still hear his yelling through the walls.

Finally, they reached an agreement and both the union representatives and the journalists jumped into two taxis to get to the assembly. We were sure now that the workers would vote for the end of the strike. It was just a matter of time. And so it happened.

Today, i have to go back to the paper and take up my usual 'copy-paste' job. It's all right. I've had a thrilling experience that i'm very proud of. I think it was the best way possible to end my coverage of the conflict. So please forgive the display of self indulgence you've just witnessed. I don't think it'll happen again in a long, long time.

There is no glamour
I'm drained. I feel just like the day looks this morning: probably cold, likely to rain. Energy is slipping out at the same speed as the money in my bank account. Yes, it's one of those moments when i'd love to be nine years old again and worry about my barbie dolls wearing a matching outfit. Well, it is Monday after all, what did you expect?

These non-stop days of work are the equivalent of a mighty long party. You wake up after it and you remember the great parts but you can hardly get yourself to make some coffee. A friend at the paper said to me last night: "After the eighth day, you'll feel nothing and you'll be able to get going". She's right. And she knows what she's talking about.

"You're a journalist!". People give you admiring looks when you tell them. Hahaha. They don't know you hardly get out of the paper. They don't know about the hours spent in front of the computer, reading and editing wires. Or the non included marketing tasks you have to do. Am i whining? I'm sorry. It's just that there is no glamour here and i wanted to set that one straight.

Random facts of today
Listening: Belle and Sebastian's Expectations.
Drinking: Tea with milk and sugar.
Eating: A bun. A tiny one for that matter.
Reading: Marian Keyes' Watermelon. But i'm not sure i like it.

Great face

Your a toothy, you have poor dental hygine and are fucking insane. Some circles want you dead.On the upside you love life though!
Take the What FMC Emoticon Are You?? Quiz

Working on Sunday nights should be forbidden by the law...

Listening

A man told his wife he'd like to go play football tomorrow. She gave him a nasty look. He said "I'll take the kids with me" and she kissed him.

A laid off secretary who became rich after receiving a tasty severence pay travelled to Sofia, capital of Bulgary, with a truck driver she fell in love with. Before leaving Madrid she took her four best friends to the most expensive hair dresser and out to dinner to an exclusive restaurant in the city. The secretarial party costed 3.000 euros.

A nice boy picked up another nice boy at a bar. Boy #1 decided they'd go to his place. When they got there the front lock had been changed because of a burglar menace in the neighbourhood. It was early in the morning and boy#1 wanted to go to his office where he had a place to sleep but he was with boy#2. Plus he was wearing black leather pants.

I went out for a while last night. We were celebrating Kurt's birthday. These are some of the stories i heard or witnessed.

I just can't get enough
Someone must have pressed the 'automatic mode' button on me while i was sleeping. I'm physically tired but i can't stop. This week has been full of stress, work, movement, conversations, interviews, notes and energy. I'm going to work ten days in a row without even blinking. I'll get four days off after that so i'm not complaining. Not only am i not complaining, i'm grateful.

This assignment has been like a breath of fresh air after spending over a year in the equivalent of a dark cell. And i just can't get enough. I find it easy to get used to this routine: get up, make calls, go places, write, edit, take pictures, eat something, go more places, listen, write, ask.

George Sand published her first novel when she was my age and Bob Marley wrote the magnificent 'I shot the sheriff' at 28. Well, i haven't published a novel but i wrote one when i was the tender age of twenty and i have over ten songs i'm sure someone could make something out of.

The point is i don't feel less accomplished just because my life isn't exactly what i dreamed of when i was sixteen. It's better in many ways and different in many others. As an old work friend used to say: "girl, you just gotta roll with the punches..."

Weather
It's raining. I'm tired. I'm happy.

Food to go
A Friday dose of Five when i'm not hungry

1. What is your favorite restaurant and why? I like many. I enjoy good japanese food, so i'd have to say Suntory, and also Maldeamores, an Uruguayan chic little place that serves excellent home-made pasta.

2. What fast food restaurant are you partial to? I go crazy over Dunkin Donuts, i like the odd McDonald's and i love Döner Kebab.

3. What are your standards and rules for tipping? I always tip, except at fast food restaurants. It depends on how good the service was, but i usually go for the 10-15%.

4. Do you usually order an appetizer and/or dessert? Yes, i order appetizers and i think about ordering desserts, but when the time comes i usually give up on the latter.

5. What do you usually order to drink at a restaurant? At a regular restaurant i'll order a beer and water if it's lunchtime and wine if it's night.

The king of glam is 26 today. He's eating carrot and cheese cake at his office as we speak. He will probably be telling a (true) story about someone's life in between delicious bites, allthough it is also probable that he is passing comments on the latest designer who has been head-hunted for Versace's accesory line. He has hay-fever and he's slightly annoyed because he's a year older today. So, here's a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Kurt, and a little cake made of best wishes for the boy.

You were born an original. Don't die a copy. (John Mason)

Déjà vu and the return of hopes
Back in 2000, half of the staff in my department left. They all went to work for the rival paper. This was done overnight, without telling a soul. It was pretty big. It was also one of the most happy and exciting days in my work life. The people that sneaked out were the people that made working a bad and humilliating experience so it was a huge relief to see the empty seats. Of course, sense of responsability grew bigger in us, the ones left behind. We felt a new bond and we knew this was like starting from scratch. Hopes were high and comradeship grew stronger.

But that was a long time ago. Resident Evils of the world made sure to squash the hope and burn all ideas that didn't come from them. The atmosphere was worst than in 1999: now we knew there was no space to dream in there. Things changed a little for me after September 11th because i felt respect for my work for the first time in months. After that, nothing has moved much.

This may sound silly. I know it does. But now that i've been assigned the transport conflict i feel a breath of fresh air coming into my brain. I can go places, talk to people, do my job with pleasure. I hope the city problems find a solution, but while they don't, i'm happy to be there.

Strike back
It happened yesterday. I got to work and the news was waiting for me. Not the regular 'copy and paste' kind of news, but rather "you must go cover the conflict between bus drivers and the council" kind of thing. Here's the lowdown: Workers have been asking for better job conditions since December and now the problem has exploded. Indefinite strike, no minimum services and therefore, no buses coming or going in the outskirts of Madrid. Negotiations continue and the spirits are quite strained.

So my Resident Evil sent me there. To actually see, hear, ask and tell (the readers) about the conflict. Yes, that is basically a journalist's job, but you see, in my department we mostly sit straight for eight hours reading the wires and deciding the position news will go in the web page. This was different. It was what i saw myself doing when i started university. And it felt good. It's great to be back in town.

Because you can-can-can
I loved Moulin Rouge. I loved it because it surprised me, it moved me and it inspired me. I like the audacity in the film, and the singing and dancing like in the old times. And no, i didn't get dizzy from watching it in the fifth row. Then my sister and her boyfriend went to see it. They said it reminded them of a champagne commercial, only that this one lasted almost two hours.
So which type are you, the passionate about Satine or the realistic no-nonsense kind of audience?

Introducing... the world
When i started checking my web statistics i discovered that i have readers from countries such as Australia, Poland or Singapur, so Tom made a world map for me in order to see all places you were connecting from. But now, thanks to Sherry, i know you can do this in a simple and easy way.
So, come on, tell me where you are!

Monday memories

Today's question:
Did you have a particular chore you had to do as a child (or even as an adult!) that you particularly hated, and would do anything to get out of doing?

I was a nightmare with household duties. My mother and sister were fed up with me... i was sooooo lazy. I was especially terrible when it came to washing the dishes and dusting, but i must say i was bad with most of the things that had to be done. I guess this started changing as i took my first responsabilities.

Now i'll do the chores around the appartment, but i'll spend one whole day cleaning everything from the floor to the ceiling and then i won't touch the house for days. Yes, i'm still terrible...

Bouquet of pencils
So it's Sunday night. The offer on television is quite pathetic and Tom has forbidden me ;-) to watch Big Brother. Other options on TV include the Spanish version of Temptation Island and You've got mail. I'm addicted to Meg Ryan in a bad way, which means i can watch her movies over and over. That can't be good and i'm ready for the spam.

Instead, i'm at the computer while i listen to a concert of Nirvana on MTV. Much better plan than spying on strangers i'm not even interested in or wondering why i don't live in New York City in the fall, or why nobody offers to send me "a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils". Of course the best option would be turning the television, the PC and the cell phone off and slipping into bed. Good night then, and please forgive the rambling.

But before i leave and considering work starts again tomorrow for most of us, here's a little tribute from Dilbert to all of you who have to deal with your particular Resident Evil. I hope you have a Happy Monday.

Dead serious
They've killed Kenny.
I'm dead serious.

What time was it?
Oh, man... i was sick yesterday. And you know what i did? I said "forget about it" to myself. And it kinda worked. I went into the office, i did my eight hours and then i went for "just one beer" with Tom and Fred. We visited our 'local' bar and we stayed there until it closed. Then we went somewhere else with the owner, Patricia.

We were supposed to meet the DJ at a club where good music and drinks were promised to us, but dreams don't always come true, my children, so they were almost closing when we arrived. Tom and i came back home and i stumbled into bed. The result of all this is:

1. I don't have a voice this morning
2. I don't have much energy to do anything around the house, even though mum will be here in a couple of hours
3. All i can think of is going to the cinema and watching the new special effects in E.T. with the M&Ms so i don't have to think or make any decisions. I'm a kid today.

Angel in the marble
Last year we threw a surprise party for her. She hid in the bathroom. Last night i managed to be the first one to wish her a happy birthday as the clock struck midnight. Let's see where we are when she turns 27. Have a brilliant one, Trix, you were born on the same day as Gabriel García Márquez and Shaquille O'Neal, but also on the same date as painter Michelangelo Buonarotti, who once said: "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." Happy birthday!

Oh, man
Vanessa Paradis... you can't be this lucky. Yet you are. *Sigh*

You are Don Juan From "Don Juan De Marco." Woobaby! You are Don Juan - dark and handsome, and the world's greatest lover. Some people find you to be a bit insane (or is that insanely sexy?). While you may not be playing with all 52 cards, don't let that get you down - you're a true romantic at heart.

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!

I get weak
Tired. Sick. Temperature. Dizzyness. Sick, again. I can't believe it. I've been sick so many times since last summer that my house looks like a chemist. Usually it starts with the throat. Or i get a regular cold that gets me off circulation for days. Last month it was my neck. Or a bad period. Now i feel shaky, exhausted and achy. Lovely.

I've tried vitamins. I don't know what to do. I can't miss anymore work. I'll be there today. What really bothers me is that i had planned to spend the weekend with the M&Ms and i fear that won't be possible. I was going to take them to watch E.T. and then cook dinner. This is disappointing...

Random facts of today:
Listening: Woman's realm, by Belle and Sebastian.
Reading: 'Wyoming', Barry Gifford.
Feeling: Dazed and confused.
Drinking: Orange juice but it tastes funny.

Creature of habits
If today's is Friday, these must be my five...

1. What are the first things that you do in the morning to start your day? Drink my coffee. Then i open my eyes and take the second cup.

2. What are the last things that you do at night before going to bed? Plug my cell phone and wash my teeth.

3. What daily routine have you recently added to your day? Having murder thoughts about my boss...

4. What routine do you wish you get rid of? I'd like my mountain of clothes to iron not to grow by the hour.

5. What's the one thing that makes you feel like something is missing if you don't do it some point within your day? Well of course... blogging.

Bills
I got the bill for my cellular phone. I've sent 175 short messages between the 18th of February and the 17th of March. I'm starting to think that i use the same communication system as most teenagents... Wow. At least i will never have to consider wearing teabags under my arms!!! *lol*

So i rushed into the hospital on Monday morning to visit Morgana and meet beautiful Lucía, knowing things would never be the same after that moment.

I was with Tom and we carried three cameras with us. One didn't work, the other was a regular one and the third was a gadget that takes tiny pictures the size of a stamp. The photo you're looking at is one of those small pictures i took that day.

Allthough it was Six the one who told me about Lucía being born, she hasn't been able to visit her yet, and yesterday she discovered that Morgana's friends had put up this photo on a website, so she called me laughing and said "well, now i know what she looks like".

Six, Morgana and myself were the 1992 version of the Three Musketeers back in our first year of University. The bond between us has grown steadily since. And now one of us is a mother. It's a strange feeling.

I remember one night, years ago (maybe four), the 3 of us chatting in a nightclub, joking about who was going to be the first of us to get married. I think we even placed a bet. Nobody has won yet, but Morgana looked like a winner on Monday morning. Congratulations, girlfriend.

Today is the day. Our favourite blond strawberry turns... wiser. Happy birthday, LovelyV! Have a ball!

Ciderland
If you're a dedicated follower of this blog you probably remember i went on Easter holidays to the North of Spain. Tom is from Pamplona, and there's where we stayed the bunch of us: him, the Mountain Family and myself. We took a couple of day trips to explore the outskirts of the town and we also went to San Sebastián. Beautiful, windy and relaxing trips.

On Friday we went to a 'sidrería', a rural restaurant that specializes on cider. They serve a fixed menu (delicious bacalao tortillas, tasty red meat and a dessert consisting of nuts, cheese and quince yelly). The fun part is the cider. The owner of the restaurant screams 'Txotx!' at one point, meaning that he's about to open a barrel and everybody gets on a line with their glasses ready. This happens about 10 times during lunch, so you get to taste all kinds of cider. The M&M's got the grip of it very easily and, though they obviously didn't drink, they were always the first ones getting up with our glasses.

After lunch, the girls got their toys out and i helped them costumize their Harry Potter action figure with a nutshell, toothpicks and an empty glass. If you want to see the result, just click here. Yes, it was probably a result of too many drinks in ciderland...

Bad net days
What is going on with the Internet these days?? Slow sailing, bad connections, sites falling apart before my eyes... I hope you can see this blog correctly. I hate it when this happens. It makes me go ape.

PS: Say hello to my net-pet monkey, Phil. He gets angry when the connections are bad too.

Links for breakfast

This is a hell of an inspiring woman.

This is a great redesign of something that was brilliant before.

This is a bad marketing idea.

Tell us something about your grandmother

My Irish grandmother was a beautiful and strong woman with firm opinions.

I remember her pink and cold hands and her sweet smile.

She drove a brown mini as fast as she could and she placed cushions on the back seat, so it looked more like a sofa.

She was an old fashioned Catholic and she used to drag me to church every Sunday.

She would wear her best outfits to mass, and sometimes even top it with a hat. She was very elegant.

We called her Nanna. But her name was Mary.

She had a twin sister though i don't remember ever meeting her.

I only visited Ireland in the summers and that's why most of my memories of my grandmother are filled with sunshine.

She loved chocolate with coconut inside, tea and watching 'Murder she wrote' on television.

She had a deep voice.

She died when i was 20 years old.

I wish i had been near her more often.

Quite true...

You're the 80's Man! No, you're not a cross-dresser. You're just the odd-shaped 80's lego man! You love the classic legos, and you're not into all these new-fangled expensive kits. Why settle for the new when the old is just as good, and far less expensive!

Take the "What Lego character are you?" test! by ctbx

First visit
Lucía is beautiful. She is quiet and tiny. She has her mother's eyes and her father's nose. She is probably asleep now. Hush...