Future tense
Life flows while i daydream. So life is, after all, what happens while you're busy making other plans. I have the feeling that i'm missing today by thinking too much about tomorrow. Still, i think life is forcing me to stay put and just watch for a while.

I keep living in a future state of mind in which i'll have a successful dream job, or i'll be gingerly walking with my son to the park, or i'll be finally organizing a dinner party for the people i miss the most.

I wonder if it's ok to be permanently looking forward to. If it's healthy to sit back and tell yourself that the best is yet to come. "I will": Future tense. But where is the present (in)tense in all this?

Do you cross your fingers and toast with champagne to the future? Or do you act in order to make things happen in that ideal future? Sometimes i wake up as a believer in positive thinking, i wear my inspirational outfit and i give myself a broad inner smile. And then there are those mornings when i get up with no sleep remains on my pillow, agitated and suspicious about anything that smells of tomorrow.

Is it all right to be this afraid? Is it compatible with feeling this serene?